what to do if it happens to you - for youth

1. Don’t reply.

Replying to requests to send or share nudes sends the message that what they asked of you is okay.  But its not!


2. Find a safe adult to talk to.

Talking about this with your parents can be difficult but it is important that you do so if you can.  If talking to your parent is not an option, find another safe adult (teacher, counsellor, another relative, outreach worker) that you can talk to.  If you aren’t able to find a safe adult to talk to, contact a crisis line like Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868)


3. Inform them of what is going on.
Feeling anxious is normal.  It may be helpful to practice what you are going to say before approaching your parent/safe adult. The following may also help:

  • Write a note or an email to your parent/safe adult explaining what’s happening and ask for their help.

  • Have a friend or a safe adult present with you while you speak with your parents about what happened.

  • Have a safe adult (teacher, counselor, relative, outreach worker) speak with your parents on your behalf. This can give your parents time to process the information without you being in front of them.


4. Prepare for their reaction.
Be aware that your parents/safe
adult are likely to feel a wide range of emotions hearing that you have taken and/or shared a sexual picture/video of yourself or your peers.  Their emotions may include disappointment, anger, hurt, shame as well as concern about what may happen next.  This is normal.  Remember that in most cases, your family will have this reaction because they care about your well-being and safety.

tips on ways to start the conversation

“I made a mistake — I sent a nude of myself to [name] and now others have seen it.”

“I really need your support to get through this.”

“I understand if you are upset.
I am trying to figure out what
to do… that’s why I’m talking
to you."

“I am feeling ………
and I don’t know what to do about it.”